EMN Marathons - Grindhouse
# - M | N - Z
10 to Midnight
Year: 1983
Synopsis: A tough-as-nails cop played by Charles Bronson hunts down an office equipment repairman who kills women for rejecting him.
EMN Notes: We're starting with a doozy here, a pure trash slasher-plus-police-procedural. As Mandy put it the first time we watched this, "Charles Bronson was in a horror movie?!". The fun thing about a lot of the films on this channel is that many of them were only ever released on VHS or only recently got rescued from the direct-to-video market. When putting this channel together we didn't specifically look for bad films at all, just unusual ones, grimy ones, low-budget ones, and fun ones, with some really excellent art and foreign films sprinkled in as well. This one is definitely one of the grimy ones, but I appreciate it for being unapologetic exploitation as it kicks off this list in style.
Aerobicide
Year: 1987
Synopsis: A slasher stalks the fitness clubs of LA, murdering people with a large safety pin.
EMN Notes: I don't know why this film specifically cracks me up like it does. It's nothing about the film itself, which is a cheesy direct-to-video slasher, though it is a fun one. It's more that this film is called Aerobicide, but was also rereleased as Killer Workout. Something about its entire conception and existence cracks me up. This is not a highbrow film. It is a film where women in leotards and buff men in tanktops get killed by a safety pin. That's all you really need to know.
Alice, Sweet Alice
Year: 1976
Synopsis: A withdrawn 12-year-old is accused of murdering her sister in a church.
Alien Private Eye
Year: 1987
Synopsis: An alien called Lemro has to come to Earth to investigate a case involving a drug on a mysterious black disk.
EMN Notes: Absolutely nonsensical film and an even more nonsensical star. Apparently, the actor that played Lemro is a former cage fighter, football player, drug addict, minister, and once went by the name Nico The Dragon. I had no idea about any of this before adding this film; I just saw it as a cheesy low budget sci-fi, but knowing this I can't possibly not have it on here. There is nothing about this film that isn't ridiculous. Lemro the Alien wears a bad fedora and an even worse suit the entire time and someone in the movie says that "every love-hate relationship is really a hate-hate relationship". It's profound stuff. I especially appreciate that no VHS box I was able to find can agree on what the movie is actually about. Great film.
All The Colours Of The Dark
Year: 1972
Synopsis: A giallo film in which a woman attends a Black Mass and is plagued by visions of a knife-wielding man with piercing blue eyes.
Alone In The Dark
Year: 1972
Synopsis: A quartet of murderous psychopaths break out of a mental hospital during a power blackout and lay siege to their doctor’s house.
Armour of God
Year: 1986
Synopsis: An adventurer named Jackie, also called The Asian Hawk, attempts to find a mysterious artifact known as the Armour of God in order to save a former bandmate's friend.
EMN Notes: There has been endless delight in discovering all the films of Jackie Chan through this channel. It's funny because this movie came out before Operation Condor, but because it was released after Operation Condor in the US it was retitled Operation Condor 2 here. Anyway, this film is an adventure. It's Jackie Chan doing silly stunts in an Indiana Jones-esque wilderness as he works to take down an evil cult. There are some really memorable moments here, such as the explosive finale, and overall it's a good time.
At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul
Year: 1963
Synopsis: Coffin Joe terrorizes a small peasant community in his search for the perfect woman to bear him a child.
Barb Wire
Year: 1996
Synopsis: The owner of a club in the last free city in the United States takes on a deadly mission of survival.
EMN Notes: Yes, this is the Pamela Anderson action movie, but it's not the one that was adapted into the lightgun game. Apparently, in 2017, the entire US was ravaged by a war, leaving Steel City the only city free enough to host Barb Wire. I can't make heads nor tails of this plot. At some point a guy named Big Fatso shows up. This film is considered one of the worst and won several Razzies. Not that those mean much, but in this case it's probably deserved.
Battle Royale
Year: 2000
Synopsis: In the future, the Japanese government captures a class of ninth-grade students and forces them to kill each other under the revolutionary “Battle Royale” act.
Big Money Hustlas
Year: 2000
Synopsis: The Insane Clown Posse are here to make a movie and riff on 70s action. Mick Foley is there, too!
EMN Notes: I found this film while looking at movies Rudy Ray Moore, AKA Dolemite, was in, and it felt like a whole lifetime's worth of memories came flooding back. Before I knew much about ICP, I knew about this movie through Mick Foley's book where he had a small aside about them. Because of that, I've always kind of respected ICP, and I have a bit of history with them. They're here to make stupid and shocking and immature films and horror music and I think that's just dandy.
Big Money Rustlas
Year: 2010
Synopsis: Ten years later, those motherfucking clowns are back and this time, it's Western.
EMN Notes: In my search for Big Money Hustlas, I found that they made a sequel, this time focused around a Western parody. How could I not add it? I haven't seen it but it sounds equally low-budget and outrageous and I for one am incredibly excited. I'm no juggalo, but I admit I've never met a juggalo I didn't like. I'm behind these guys and their weird and shocking art, though maybe I shouldn't admit that out loud.
Big Tits Zombie
Year: 2010
Synopsis: A medieval Book of the Dead is discovered in the catacombs that run under a small town strip club. When one of the desperate strippers raises an army of the undead, the rest of the strippers must kick some zombie ass to save the world.
Big Trouble in Little China
Year: 1986
Synopsis: Jack Burton gets wrapped up in a battle of wizards and mayhem when he agrees to take his friend Wang Chi to the airport.
Billy the Kid vs. Dracula
Year: 1966
Synopsis: Dracula travels to the American West, intent on making a beautiful ranch owner his next victim. Her fiance, outlaw Billy the Kid, finds out about it and rushes to save her.
Black Dynamite
Year: 2009
Synopsis: He's super bad! He's outta sight! He's...the star of this 70s blaxploitation comedy throwback!
Black Mask
Year: 1996
Synopsis: Tsui escapes from a super soldier project and plans to lead a peaceful life. However, when his former comrades go on a violent crime spree, he takes it upon himself to end their reign of terror.
Black Mask 2: City of Masks
Year: 2002
Synopsis: The Black Mask must stop a group intent on setting off a DNA bomb that could cause mutations to the human race. Also the entire movie takes place in a city populated by pro wrestlers. Rob Van Dam is there.
Black Roses
Year: 1988
Synopsis: A heavy metal band arrives in town and it turns out your parents were right - they ARE a front for a Satanic death cult that will corrupt your youth!
EMN Notes: An incredibly dumb incredibly backwards film with the titular band playing song after song, making kids kill each other, and turning into demons. This is a movie I was absolutely determined to add to the channel when I found it in our big book of VHS cover art. It is wild. It's also trash. Someone turns into a skeleton creature at some point and a speaker eats a guy in the funniest death I've ever seen in a slasher movie. I love the entire concept, and I love how ridiculous it is. Any film that ends with a burning concert hall has to be a good time.
Blacula
Year: 1972
Synopsis: The chilling tale of the Black Dracula, the African prince who was turned into a vampire by the legendary vampire himself.
EMN Notes: Blacula may seem like an easy punchline for a lot of people, but what really made me sold on this film was the documentary Horror Noire. It told the story about how this was a film that was put together by a studio to try and lazily get Black audiences to come to the theater, but through the power of the director's vision and especially the actor who portrayed the main character it became something a little more interesting than just a cheap cash grab. It's still low-budget and rests comfortably in its cash grab roots, but it's a really interesting piece as well as a result. Plus, I appreciate the Hammer-esque vibe of it all.
Blood and Bone
Year: 2009
Synopsis: In Los Angeles, an ex-con takes the underground fighting world by storm in his quest to fulfill a promise to a dead friend.
Bloodbeat
Year: 1982
Synopsis: A family in rural Wisconsin is stalked by the spirit of a Japanese samurai warrior.
Brother
Year: 2000
Synopsis: A Japanese Yakuza gangster’s deadly existence in his homeland gets him exiled to Los Angeles, where he is taken in by his little brother and his brother’s gang.
Cellar Dweller
Year: 1988
Synopsis: In the 1950s, a horror-comic artist’s creations come alive and kill him. Years later a new cartoonist revives the creatures in his house, now part of an artist’s colony.
Challenge of the Lady Ninja
Year: 1983
Synopsis: A Chinese woman trained in martial arts finds when she arrives in Hong Kong that her brother has turned traitor and joined the Japanese, so she starts an all-woman army to stop him.
EMN Notes: The first of several films that can be summed up as "it's amazing what you can find on the Internet Archive". In my hunt for Death Code Ninja and Ninja Kids I found yet another great film from the 80s ninja boom. I was actually looking for an Italian ninja film called Challenge The Ninja but was unable to find subtitles or a dub for it. This film is a trip, packed with slow-mo and sudden bursts of violence. It was actually a very pleasant surprise, an action-packed cheese-fest that really digs its heels in. Fun fact, this was also released in some markets as Never Kiss A Ninja. It doesn't really make much sense as a title.
City Hunter
Year: 1993
Synopsis: A self-indulgent private investigator winds up on a cruise ship full of rich patrons, gorgeous women, murderous terrorists, and scarce food.
Coffy
Year: 1973
Synopsis: A tough nurse grabs a gun and gets revenge on the dope-pushers that killed her sister.
EMN Notes: One of the seminal blaxploitation films and notable for the title role starring Pam Grier. Grier is amazing in this film and it's easy to see why she became a star. This film pioneered a lot of techniques that would later be imitated, parodied, and satirized in films like Black Dynamite, such as the anti-drug message and the grooving theme tune. It's also just fun to see Pam Grier with a shotgun. Apparently one of the films' taglines is "Her name is 'Coffy'...and she'll cream you!". So, you know, it's good stuff.
Crime Story
Year: 1993
Synopsis: A special agent is assigned to protect a wealthy business magnate. However, when the businessman is kidnapped in a daring ambush, he teams up with a seasoned detective to crack the case.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Year: 2000
Synopsis: Three martial artists looking for a stolen sword find a nobleman's daughter instead.
EMN Notes: This film was everywhere when it first came out, and for good reason. It's an excellent film, with fantastic martial arts, a gripping story, and really gorgeous cinematography. I think it's nice that we have some higher-class movies in the lineup, as part of the fun of Grindhouse is never really knowing what you're going to get. It's our own little film festival full of ups and downs. Even on a channel where we have some of the best martial arts films available, this one still stands out.
Cyber Ninja
Year: 1988
Synopsis: In a futuristic version of medieval Japan, a band of swordsmen battles an evil warlord and his mechanical army of ninjas, and are aided by a mysterious heroic cyborg ninja, Shiranui.
Dark Waters
Year: 1993
Synopsis: A woman investigates the disappearance of her friend and her own murky past when she travels to a mysterious convent on a barren island. Notable for being one of the first instances of "nunsploitation".
Death Code: Ninja
Year: 1987
Synopsis: An evil ninja is in possession of a mysterious map that everyone wants to get their hands on.
EMN Notes: It's no wonder that Haim Saban saw money in Power Rangers when films like this were on the market. Basically, this is a film that spliced together footage from a Taiwanese film with new footage of various ninja stunts and it was dubbed into something completely new. This was apparently a common thing from back then to create new films to show in picture halls and to line the video stores, and it's honestly both mad and genius. I love it. The action scenes are absolutely spectacular. I knew I needed to find this film from the moment I saw the cover.
Death Dimension
Year: 1978
Synopsis: A gangster called "The Pig" threatens to use a weather control device to freeze people to death unless he gets his way. It's up to Detective Ash to protect the only person who knows how to stop him.
EMN Notes: Pure exploitation with Jim Kelly and Harold Sakata, and widely regarded as only for hardcore Jim Kelly fans. I think it's a great time. Like plenty of others on this list it had several other titles at one point, including Freeze Bomb, Icy Death, The Kill Factor, and Black Eliminator, all of which make slightly more sense than the eventual title it ended up with.
Death Race 2000
Year: 1975
Synopsis: In the future, a nationwide race is held featuring fast cars armed with deadly weapons. The more pedestrians you hit, the more points you win.
Death Race 2050
Year: 2017
Synopsis: In the year 2050, overpopulation has run rampant. To quell the flood of humanity, corporations invent a new sport - the Death Race.
Deep Red
Year: 1975
Synopsis: A musician witnesses the murder of a famous psychic, and then teams up with a feisty reporter to find the killer.
Demon of Paradise
Year: 1987
Synopsis: Illegal dynamite fishing has woken up the creature that lives in a lake in Hawaii. Now he's hungry and nothing will stop him from feeding on his prey.
EMN Notes: Out of all the "creature in a body of water eating tourists" pictures, I gotta hand it to this one for making the monster a gillman that is only appeased by ritualistic sacrifice. It sure is trying to make some environmentalist points. I don't think it actually succeeds at all, but that's just how it is. Shoutouts to this movie for having a herpetologist as the protagonist, as well - very unique move that you kind of have to respect.
Demons
Year: 1985
Synopsis: A group of people are trapped in a movie theater infested by demons and plagued by a mysterious mask that corrupts anyone who wears it.
Demonwarp
Year: 1988
Synopsis: Bigfoot breaks into a cabin to attack a man and his daughter, leading to the discovery of aliens hidden deep in the woods.
EMN Notes: So much happens in this movie. Bigfoot is here. The plot sort of revolves around an alien spacecraft that just so happens to be in the woods. There's a Satanic priest who hangs around and wants to do evil things for fun and thinks the aliens are angels meant to serve him. They really tossed in so many different things into one movie and I love them for it.
Desperado
Year: 1995
Synopsis: El Mariachi hunts down an infamous drug lord and dives deep into the Mexican criminal underworld.
Disco Godfather
Year: 1979
Synopsis: A celebrity DJ and ex-cop takes to the streets to clean up the city and stop the "Angel Dust" epidemic.
EMN Notes: A Rudy Ray Moore classic, though not related to his Dolemite films, and one that attempts to be a little more serious in tone. Whether it succeeds at being serious is up to you, but it sure succeeds at being entertaining. I have so much respect for Moore, even more after seeing the excellent biopic Dolemite Is My Name, so when I found this film I knew I had to put it up there with the rest. The music is, of course, excellent.
Dolemite
Year: 1975
Synopsis: A pimp is set up by the cops to take the fall for crimes he didn't commit, but now he's out of prison and ready to have his revenge on the suckas that juked him.
EMN Notes: I've been unconsciously channeling Dolemite for years now when writing a character heavily inspired by other 70s action films. I somehow never realized how influential this film was, same with Rudy Ray Moore himself, until I saw it. The man rhymes on a dime and serves up some time. This film is a mess, but it's a great mess, and in a lot of ways has only gotten better with age as it's unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) funny, uncompromisingly independent, and born out of one man's desire to see himself on the silver screen. It's almost The Room-like in a lot of ways, just 25 years earlier and with a leading man who went on to have a successful cult career as a crazy comic and comedic underground action star. This film is a delight.
Double Dragon
Year: 1994
Synopsis: Two brothers, Billy and Jimmy, fight a villain with a cursed amulet in this incredibly strange adaptation of the arcade classic.
El Mariachi
Year: 1992
Synopsis: An innocent mariachi band member is mistaken for a ruthless gangster who has just broken out of prison and has to run like hell.
EMN Notes: This film is a classic. It's Robert Rodriguez's directorial debut and I love how the whole thing came together through a series of favors and hard work and kickstarted the career of a legendary director. It's so exciting and the low budget independent nature of it helps with that. It's a triumph even to this day and inspiring, and more than that it's just a damn fun time.
Enter the Dragon
Year: 1973
Synopsis: A martial artist agrees to spy on a reclusive crime lord using his invitation to a tournament there as cover.
Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Year: 1965
Synopsis: Three strippers seeking thrills spread a trail of murder and mayhem in their wake, though they may have bitten off more than they can chew when they try to shake down an old man for his money.
Fatal Deviation
Year: 1998
Synopsis: A film that enjoys the distinction of being Ireland's first-ever feature-length martial arts film.
Father's Day
Year: 2011
Synopsis: Ahab, a man obsessed with exacting a brutal, violent revenge on the man who murdered his dad, joins John, an eager priest, and Twink, a hot-headed street hustler, on an epic quest to find and defeat this mythical monster known as The Father's Day Killer.
Fearless
Year: 2006
Synopsis: A film loosely based on the life of Huo Yuanjia, a martial artist who took on all comers for the sake of Chinese pride.
EMN Notes: A Jet Li film and a very fun one at that, with great martial arts sequences and a fun grasp of filmmaking and aesthetic. It's one of the more serious films on the channel, though it doesn't quite match some of the best. Solid, middle-of-the-road fun action, and sometimes that's A-OK.
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion
Year: 1972
Synopsis: A mole in the Yakuza is sold out by her cop boyfriend. After she tries to assassinate him she is sentenced to do hard time in a women's prison.
EMN Notes: A hard-boiled film and the first of a famous Japanese series, this film is grimy and ruthless at points, but is also exploitative as all get-out. It is a "pink film", a film that combines artistic directorial work with unapologetic eroticism. It's not exactly high class, but it's gritty, interesting, and violent.
Fist of Fury
Year: 1972
Synopsis: Chen Zhen returns to the international compound of China only to learn of his beloved teacher’s death. Overcome with grief, he looks to investigate the cause of it and take down the ones responsible.
Fist of Legend
Year: 1994
Synopsis: A remake of Fist of Fury starring martial arts legend Jet Li.
Fist of the North Star
Year: 1995
Synopsis: Loosely based on the manga, the strongest man in the world must roam the wastelands fighting overwhelming evil with the guidance of the ghost of his dead father as company.
EMN Notes: Did you know that in 1995 they made a US film adaptation of Fist Of The North Star? You do now. I don't know what to say about this one because, like, look at the channel it's on. Look at the poster. Look at White Kenshiro. I'm pretty sure you already have a mental image of what this movie is like and why it's on here, and you'd be completely right. Malcom McDowell is here, too!
Foxy Brown
Year: 1974
Synopsis: A woman goes undercover as a prostitute to murder mobsters that killed her boyfriend.
EMN Notes: This is, along with Coffy, Pam Grier's big breakout and inventor of a lot of tropes seen in other blaxploitation films of the era as well as tributes that came since. Just like the others, this has a kitschy charm to it, with Grier herself giving the role a depth of character and an edge that would have been missing otherwise. Of course, it's still a blaxploitation film where a prostitute goes on a revenge rampage, but that's part of the fun of it all! It's fun to look at the DNA of films like this and realize how much they influenced despite being seen as low art and are in many ways pure exploitation. I do think Grier had a lot to do with that - her performances are always smouldering and you can't help but be taken in by them.
From Dusk Til Dawn
Year: 1996
Synopsis: Two smugglers go to the wrong bar and find themselves in the middle of a shootout with a whole lot of vampires.
EMN Notes: This movie is covered in a thin layer of dust and I appreciate it immensely as a result. It's so fun how it starts off as what seems to be a fairly standard high noon sunbaked crime movie and then right-angles hard when the entire bar they pull into halfway through the film turns out to be the haunt of a pack of bloodthirsty vampire creatures. It's so fun and it's a twist I love to see. Salma Hayek is incredible, and the action is full of splatter and laughs because it just kicks off and doesn't stop until the end. Tarantino and Rodriguez somehow made critics like a movie featuring a guy with a penis gun. Good for them.
Future Cops
Year: 1993
Synopsis: A wild bootleg film featuring time-traveling cops, evil overlods, and a whole lot of the Street Fighter 2 cast.
Grave Misdemeanors
Year: 1989
Synopsis: A big nerd is harassed by the reanimated zombies of his high school bullies.
EMN Notes: This film is also called Night Life, which is a much worse title. This is a film that was in the VHS cover art book and I had to get it based on the art and the premise alone. Look at it, it looks so cheesy. I can't attest to its quality, but I can attest to how mad it is. Also the nerd's name is Archie Melville, which is great. Recently I watched a film called My Boyfriend's Back, which has kind of the opposite premise where it's the nerd who comes back to life, but this one is definitely more on the weird-horror side of the weird-horror-comedy scale.
Grindhouse
Year: 2007
Synopsis: A spectacular two-part feature! See the infected walk the Earth in Planet Terror! See the murderous Stuntman Mike continue his reign of terror in Death Proof! Plus, previews of upcoming attractions!
EMN Notes: This is a complicated movie, but an easy addition to a channel named after the same concept that powers this film. It's an interesting double feature, and I'd argue that it's more fun to explore and dissect than to actually watch, though Planet Terror is a blast. Death Proof starts super promising and becomes an entirely different movie, and while I get that that's the point I admit it's a point I find less fun than it could have been. Still, the grimy aesthetics, the film grain, and the hilarious parody ads all work together to make this an easy, fun addition to the channel. By the way, I know I stole Mandy's style of description for this film from their work on the Horror lineup but I can't help it; it's amazing.
Gunpowder Milkshake
Year: 2021
Synopsis: In her turbulent life as a professional assassin, Sam has no choice but to go rogue to save the life of an innocent 8-year-old girl in the middle of the gang war she has unleashed.
Hands of the Ripper
Year: 1971
Synopsis: Jack the Ripper's daughter is possessed by the spirit of her infamous father and it leads her to kill.
EMN Notes: First off, this is a Hammer film! Second off, this sure is a film about Jack the Ripper's daughter! It fascinates me how ingrained in the zeitgest Jack the Ripper is. It feels like everyone wants to do something involving him. He was a real murderer, people, this isn't a Sherlock Holmes thing. But I digress, this film is actually pretty well-received and I love it for its absurd Gothic nature and pure Hammer way of mixing nonsense with class.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Year: 2013
Synopsis: Hansel and Gretel grow up to become witch hunters for hire.
EMN Notes: This film feels exactly like it's from that era of early-00s action horror, like Resident Evil or Underworld or Van Helsing, where there was a lot of style, a lot of lens flare, a lot of weird industrial music, and a lot of CG blood, but curiously no bite. That said, this is one of the fun ones and it's interesting it was released in 2013. It's a very trashy fantasy-action-horror-thing and I think the reason it works is because a lot of the effects were actually done practically. It's pretty cool for that, with the Norwegian director bringing in his own sensibilities to a film that could've been pretty forgettable. I'm not saying it's good, but it does enough to be pretty interesting.
Hardcore Henry
Year: 2015
Synopsis: A film shot in first-person featuring Henry, a cyborg, rescuing his girlfriend from an evil overlord.
Hell Comes To Frogtown
Year: 1988
Synopsis: After a nuclear war, Sam Hell wanders the Earth, scavenging what he can until he stumbles upon a colony of mutated creatures in the wastes.
Helldriver
Year: 2010
Synopsis: After a zombie apocalypse a Japanese woman looks for her mother, the Zombie Queen, and is going to spill buckets of blood along the way.
EMN Notes: This movie just kind of rules. I love the title. I love the vibe. It's just an excuse for showers of blood, fire, spikes, hellish Mad Max contraptions, and ass-kickery. It's so fun as a result. We have a lot of films that have very similar energy on this channel, being extremely gory Japanese action flicks, but I don't actually care because each and every one of them is a goddamn delight.
Hercules Against The Moon Men
Year: 1964
Synopsis: Aliens invade Ancient Greece. I'll give you three guesses who stops them.
EMN Notes: Now this one is an MST3K classic. This was originally an Italo-Franco production that was dubbed into English and is just an absolute tour-de-force of 60s practical effects and dreadful film grain. Apparently in the original Italian version it wasn't Hercules but Maciste, an Italian folk-hero. I suppose that explains why this film blends so many ancient cultures together. This one is a romp. A languidly-paced romp, but a romp nonetheless.
Hero
Year: 2002
Synopsis: Three assassins aim to defeat China's most powerful warlord and it's up to Jet Li to stop them.
EMN Notes: Jet Li is great. It's weird how martial arts movies were so big around this time in the US and yet now they've really faded out. I know they're still being made, as the Ip Man movies are absolutely excellent and available on streaming services, yet outside of Shang-Chi Marvel-ing the genre up you don't really get classic martial arts films brought over like this anymore. A shame. This one's a cool one. I actually remember my brother and father going to go see it while we were evacuated from a hurricane and they enjoyed it, though I remember them finding the scene where they fight on water to be stretching their suspension of disbelief. I, on the other hand, just like to see cool fights. This one delivers on that front.
Hobo With A Shotgun
Year: 2011
Synopsis: A homeless vigilante pulls up to a new city with only his trusty boomstick by his side.
Iced
Year: 1989
Synopsis: A group of friends at a ski resort watch as their recently-dumped companion succumbs to a horrible death while skiing. Five years later, they're invited back to the resort and are targeted one-by-one.
EMN Notes: This is another movie accidentally found on archive.org and I LOVE how absolutely trashy it is. I cannot believe this movie came out in 1989. The title is so funny to me. It somehow manages to stand out by being painfully generic. The only review for this film on Wikipedia reads "a slasher movie that secretly wants to be a Soap Opera, and has an ending that clears nothing up" so you know this one's good.
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
Year: 1988
Synopsis: Jack Spade returns from the army in his old ghetto neighbourhood when his brother, June Bug, is killed by the powerful local crimelord, Mr. Big.
Inferno
Year: 1980
Synopsis: A young man returns from Rome to his sister’s satanic New York apartment house.
Ip Man
Year: 2008
Synopsis: Yip Man, inventor of Wing Chun, finds himself displaced and struggling against invaders in his village during the Second Sino-Japanese War.
Ip Man 2
Year: 2010
Synopsis: Ip Man is confronted by a racist American soldier who challenges him to demonstrate the superiority of Western boxing.
Ip Man 3
Year: 2015
Synopsis: A band of brutal gangsters threatens to take over Ip Man's village, and he must make a choice whether to face off against their leader or care for his dying wife.
Ip Man 4: The Finale
Year: 2019
Synopsis: Following the death of his wife, Ip Man travels to San Francisco to ease tensions between the local kung fu masters and his star student, Bruce Lee, while searching for a better future for his son.
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter
Year: 1966
Synopsis: Dr. Frankenstein's granddaughter moves to the old West to rustle up some corpses but the legendary outlaw Jesse James is having none of it.
EMN Notes: Shown in a double features with Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, this was one of the director's final films. What a way to go out. Honestly, this film is weirdly personal for me, as in high school I became really interested in Jesse James and through that interest found this film...Or rather, I found its title. I basically dived deep into Wikipedia looking for more info on it and came up short because this was the first Grindhouse/drive-in style film I had ever really heard of and the absurdity of it all fascinated me. I ended up making the Wikipedia page for it, and recently when going back found that the page has been beautified significantly and also that high-school-me had no idea what she was doing when it came to Wikipedia pages. Still, my ploy worked. I wanted people to find more info about this film out for me and by God I made it happen. Now it's etched into the annals of history! Everyone will know about this film! I don't know why they'd want to but damn it now they will!
John Wick
Year: 2014
Synopsis: Ex-hitman John Wick comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters that took everything from him.
Kung Fu Hustle
Year: 2004
Synopsis: A wannabe gangster moves into an apartment complex full of great kung fu masters and causes an all-out war.
EMN Notes: This movie is fantastic, completely over-the-top and comedic as hell, but part of why the over-the-top comedy works is because it takes martial arts seriously...it just exaggerates it like crazy. It has a really nice story of rich vs. poor that goes along with the ridiculous action, and everyone's special kung fu moves range from the usual spectacles to having a voice that can knock down buildings. It's expertly-done because it does everything with a wink without devaluing you for watching it. Great film.
Kung Pow: Enter The Fist
Year: 2002
Synopsis: A re-edited kung fu movie featuring new scenes from a Chosen One who must stop Master Betty once-and-for-all.
L.A. Streetfighters
Year: 1985
Synopsis: The new kid at school gets into a fight and when he wins he accepts a job as a security officer for a shady organization.
EMN Notes: Also called Los Angeles Street Fighter and also called Ninja Turf. This is such a bizarre martial arts film, with elements from all kinds of action films from the time. The Warriors-style gangs are a highlight. I have to say, one of the most fun parts of this film for me is that excellent video box art. It really makes you want to check this thing out, even if it's just a fun little 80s action movie that feels like Double Dragon meets Miami Connection. It has all the classic elements, with evil drug dealers, kung fu, and overwrought drama. Gotta love it.
Light Blast
Year: 1985
Synopsis: A former university professor-turned-mad-scientist threatens to melt LA with a death ray.
EMN Notes: This is another movie that kills me because it's an Italian film called Colpi di Luce that they dubbed into English. It stars Erik Estrada. The whole plan is so absurd and it tries so hard to be an intense action movie but the villain is incredibly unthreatening. The Wikipedia article for this film is not only woefully incomplete but also borderline incomprehensible. I love that there was this wave of dubbing Italian films and giving them really cool titles and covers back in the 80s, but a giallo film this is not.
Like A Dragon
Year: 2007
Synopsis: After taking the dive for a murder he didn't commit, ex-Yakuza Kazuma Kiryu comes out of prison to find that his sworn brother has become a cruel crime lord.
EMN Notes: This movie as an adaptation of the first Yakuza game gets a lot of flack, but I find it to be incredibly fun. It's a Takashi Miike film, and he later went on to make the amazing Ace Attorney movie. I think my only real issue, outside of the story being a mess (though Yakuza 1's story has pacing issues too) is that Kiryu looks too young. However, Kamurocho pops and feels so alive in this film, and every other character looks fantastic. Majima especially is great. It's a fun adaptation and enjoyable to see iconic locations from the game recreated lovingly. It's just no substitute for actually playing the game.
Lust For Freedom
Year: 1987
Synopsis: A former female cop is framed by corrupt police, acting in collusion with the local judge, and has to fight her way out of the pen, alone, against tough inmates, and the people in charge.
Machete
Year: 2010
Synopsis: After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.
Machete Kills
Year: 2013
Synopsis: Ex-Federale agent Machete is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.
Master of the Flying Guillotine
Year: 1977
Synopsis: The One-Armed Boxer has to face an assassin equipped with the deadliest weapon known to man - a bladed circle on a string that decapitates people in one pull.
EMN Notes: Alternatively known as The One-Armed Boxer vs. The Flying Guillotine for obvious reasons, this film has blood, fights, and a villain who is hunting down random people with one arm in the hopes that he finds the right guy with one arm. It's goofy, energetic, and absolutely wild, making it extremely fun to watch. It helps that, like many of these films, it has no budget but all heart.
Master Z: Ip Man Legacy
Year: 2018
Synopsis: The leader of the gangsters from Ip Man 3 unearths a city-wide conspiracy involving three different gangs. This movie has Batista in it!
Masterblaster
Year: 1987
Synopsis: All is well at the paintball game until a mysterious figure starts using REAL BULLETS.
EMN Notes: There's something just unbelievably funny to me about this movie. I think it's the bad production, the title being one word, and the premise itself. I can't explain it, it's just so silly. They really tried here, with all the 80s movie protagonist cliches together in a paintball game. You have a tough cop with trauma, you have a martial arts master, you have a Vietnam veteran, and the whole thing feels like it was shot on home video. They tried. And I'm glad they did.
Masters of the Universe
Year: 1987
Synopsis: Skeletor has won, and He-Man must stop him in this live-action film based on the cartoon.
Miami Connection
Year: 1988
Synopsis: A taekwondo school, whose members moonlight as a band called Dragon Sound, must stop Miami's notorious cocaine-dealing ninjas.
Monster Brawl
Year: 2011
Synopsis: The biggest and baddest monsters all meet in the squared circle to have a wrestling match that can only be described as a Monster Mash.
Mortal Kombat
Year: 1995
Synopsis: Earth's mightiest warriors are summoned to a mystical martial arts tournament that serves as a war between three realms.
EMN Notes: To many, one of the finest videogame movies ever made, and even if it wasn't based on a game it'd still be a pulse-pounding romp with fisticuffs and magic. The costumes are great, the set design is fun, and the soundtrack will get your head bopping. I think the reason this movie succeeded is because it allowed itself to really understand what people loved about the games. A lesser movie would think it was all about the gore, but this one managed to be PG-13 and still be beloved because it's actually all about the campiness, the adventure, and the crazy mish-mash of fighting styles and martial arts movie cliches. It's not going to blow your socks off, but it will make you smile, and I appreciate it for that reason.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Year: 1997
Synopsis: After the events of Mortal Kombat, the realms' mightiest warriors have only six days to save the planet from the warlord Shao Kahn.
Mr. Nice Guy
Year: 1997
Synopsis: A Chinese chef accidentally gets involved with a news reporter who filmed a drug bust that went awry and is now being chased by gangs who are trying to get the video tape.
Mugsy's Girls
Year: 1984
Synopsis: Also known as "Delta Pi". A sorority house mother enters her girls in a mud-wrestling contest.