EMN2 Programming Guide - Horror
Horror File List - Horror Interstitials/Ads File List
Movies (#-M) | Movies (N-Z) | Shows/Specials | Miscellaneous
Because this channel lineup is Mandy's baby, they'll be taking over the summaries and notes for it. Their comments will be in this color to differentiate them.
Chiller Theater with Ned the Dead
Year: 1984
Synopsis: For 25 years, the undead horror host Ned the Dead and his co-host, Doc Moreau would rise from their grave to haunt the world with cult & classic films and chilling jokes.
EMN Notes: This horror host is a special one, because this was my local horror host. I used to see ads all the time, and I lived only about an hour away from where he filmed his shows in Green Bay. Ned's a funny, charismatic guy. He proudly proclaims Chiller Theater to be the "worst show ever made". A typical episode has him introduce the movie, and they would Mystery Science Theater the films, except instead of talking over it, they will pause the movie in full, get out the jokes they have about the scene, and then return to the movie. It's about as primitive as you can get, but it's a memorable, good time. Over fifty of his episodes, of what I think are mostly public domain movies are all archived on YouTube, so give it a look. It's as 'public TV' as public TV can get, and I mean that in the best way.
Cinemassacre's Monster Madness
Year: 2007
Synopsis: The good, the bad, the cult, and Godzilla, James Rolfe covers every horror film under the sun with his directing and horror fan knowledge.
EMN Notes: When I think of the Halloween season, I think of Cinemassacre. I love the Angry Video Game Nerd, but Monster Madness is my all time favorite thing James has ever made. Every day in October he would talk about horror movies from all generations and give you reasons to watch it, by saying why he loves it in a very down to earth fashion. I've always loved horror, but this and I-Mockery gave me my first true steps into the genre. I went from watching exclusively slasher films to learning and loving all of horror by watching James gush about films. I have him to thank for broadening my horizons and introducing me to so many different films. Even if you are familiar with the film, his input is so interesting, I would revisit it every year. I am so grateful we made them ads so they can play in between films. I will never forget James' Grindhouse review playing followed by the actual film Grindhouse.
Doc Mock's Movie Mausoleum
Year: 2009
Synopsis: Streamed live from his mausoleum, I-Mockery's Doc Mock and Miss Diagnosis brings guests on his show to talk and watch weird films pulled from his crazy collection.
EMN Notes: I'm glad some of this show was still saved. It's unbelievable this show existed, and surprising to me that a lot of it is currently lost media. Big names like Lloyd Kaufman and Nathan Barnatt were on the show at one point. It had a lot of technical issues, as you can probably expect with a low budget side project on the internet, but the fact they were able to do more than just public domain stuff is so cool to me. It's also just nice to have a show from one of my biggest influences getting into horror.
Elvira's Movie Macabre
Year: 1981
Synopsis: The Mistress of the Dark, with her chipper attitude and a dirty sense of humor, she jokes over films both new and old.
EMN Notes: The most famous horror movie host of all time. One of the funniest ones, too, honestly. She deserves her reputation. Not to talk down her sex appeal, she's got a lot of it, but I think she was oversold so much to me growing up as being all skin and no bite. She's a fantastic satirical character actor, and her skits are one joke after another. I honestly think Mystery Science Theater and other movie host shows getting greenlit for big time stations is at least thanks partly to her. The fact she's basically a super casual valley girl in a vampire lady get up is hilarious. You straight up can't collect the horror hosts greats and neglect her.
Homestar Runner
Year: 2000
Episodes: Halloween Specials
Synopsis: Cartoony denizens of Free Country, USA have whimsical and surreal adventures. Or sometimes they just check their email.
EMN Notes: Forgive me for just stealing the EMN Synopsis on this one. As for the Halloween Specials, I'm probably the only person these days who very excitedly checks the Homestar Runner YouTube and website every October to see when they uploaded the newest cartoon. On top of the fact that it's about the one consistent time of year I can expect a new Homestar Runner cartoon, they also get really obscure and fun with the pop culture costumes. The jokes are great, too. One of the Halloween traditions I still have is to watch all of the cartoons.
Local 58
Year: 2015
Synopsis: Various clips recorded late into the night from the public access channel Local 58 in Mason County, West Virginia presented without context.
EMN Notes: This is a YouTube series with ARG-like elements. It's all the work of animator Kris Straub, who is most famous for the story of Candle Cove. These are fantastic short disturbing videos with the gimmick being they're clips over the years from a generic fake local channel with sinister undertones. Sometimes they are emergency broadcasts, sometimes they air weird programming at a strange time, and sometimes it will be unusual recordings from a video camera. Only one thing is for certain: don't trust the moon.
Mickey Mouse: The Haunted House
Year: 1929
Synopsis: After entering a Haunted House, Mickey can't seem to find a way out.
EMN Notes: Truthfully, I grabbed this one because it was on YouTube because it was there and I noticed it wasn't on the House of Mouse special. I'm pretty sure I know why. Not everything aged so well in this one. It was only seven minutes long and that still gave them enough time to be offensive. On another note, they use literally the exact same skeleton dance that was in the Spooky Scary Skeletons video as well, but it's inside a house.
MonsterVision
Year: 1991
Synopsis: TNT's premier block for weird, horror and shlock films, eventually taken over by the horror historian cowboy, Joe Bob Briggs.
EMN Notes: I've only seen a handful of episodes, but it's cool to have these and see to see a younger version of Joe Bob. I love The Last Drive-In on Shudder, and you get more of that, twenty something years earlier. It has plenty of interesting facts, fun jokes, and sometimes skits and songs. Even with the movies censored by TNT, it's fun. It introduced me to the 80's film 'The Kiss', which is a completely weird and wild film. I would almost be offended by it if it wasn't unbelievably terrible at everything it sets out to do. That, I think, shows the power of a good host. Even back then he could elevate a film just by providing insightful and funny commentary over even the most inane movies.
Mystery Science Theater 3000
Year: 1988
Synopsis: Mad scientists do experiments on various blue collar workers and their robot pals by subjecting them all to cheesy, bad films.
EMN Notes: I love all three eras of MST3K. My personal favorite is Joel, but I don't think you can go wrong, honestly. Sometimes the bots and host will have jokes and references that fly over my head, but it's just as easy enough to focus on the film and appreciate its (bad) merits on my own. There's surprisingly not a whole lot of horror episodes, so I had to cherry pick the best of the best ones when it came to horror. I think the only major omissions are Squirm, Soultaker, Laserblast, and Reptilicus, but they may still come at a later year. That still leaves you with some of the best episodes the series has ever made, including Werewolf, Samson Vs. The Vampire Women, and of course, Manos: The Hands of Fate!
Rental Reviews - Cinemassacre Video
Year: 2018
Synopsis: At one of the last remaining video rental stores, Cinemassacre Video, the guy at the desk spends his days talking movies with the frequent customers.
EMN Notes: Officially these four videos were included because they were part of Cinemassacre's Monster Madness 2019, but it's technically its own series as well so I figured I may as well explain it. It sort of has a plot and set, but it's an excuse for unscripted movie discussions. It's sort of similar to Red Letter Media's show just with the Cinemassacre staff. As someone who never admittedly never got into RLM, I prefer this. Maybe I'm biased because I like James, but I find this one a little more interesting to have on in the background. I mostly find myself agreeing with James, the rest of them all have at least one movie opinion that has me shaking my head, but they play off each other nicely and both in and out of Monster Madness, occasionally there will be a moment that cracks me up.
Shock Theater with Dr. Creep
Year: 1972
Synopsis: Shock Theatre gives you the creeps! The evil Dr. Creep brings you B-Movie horror with humorous skits in between.
EMN Notes: Creep was a local horror host familiar to those who grew up where I now live, Ohio. As you can guess, I wasn't here for Shock Theater's initial run, or even its revival run, but it was recommended, so we made sure to grab what we can. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like any actual episodes were archived, but the Creep lives on through what remains of his archived skits. I can't speak on the quality of the full show, but the skits are fun. It's a really nice time capsule of what horror hosts were even pre-Elvira. They even had muppet like puppets on the show, and Dr. Creep himself has a great look. On top of that, he seemed to be a cool cat in general. During the run of his show and the last few years of his life, he dedicated a lot of his work to charity. I couldn't be more proud of this Creep!
The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs
Year: 2018
Synopsis: Unapologetic redneck and horror historian with a love of the drive-in theater, Joe Bob Briggs, and his cosplayer mail girl, Darcy, present weekly double features of horror with segments in-between where Joe Bob gives you fun facts, interviews, and weird tangents.
EMN Notes: Joe Bob and Darcy mean a lot to me, personally, and I look forward to watching this one every Friday it's on. I've only fallen deeper into horror since watching this show, and I am honestly so grateful to have people who watch it with me. It's just a very welcoming and friendly show for horror fans, by horror fans.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Year: 1949
Synopsis: A teacher and the town hero fight for the affection of a farmer's daughter. When the hero realizes the teacher is a superstitious person, he tells him the legend of an undead soldier looking for a head.
EMN Notes: For some reason I only had this short on VHS and only realized later this was released theatrically with a Wind in the Willows short. I genuinely love this one. It's got great animation, solid designs, and it's the best short Disney has ever done, as well as the best adaption of the story I've seen in general. Their version of the Headless Horseman is pretty damn cool, and I like the final sequence a lot. One thing that changed since I was a kid, I have to say, is that I think Ichabod Crane is kind of a dick. He is mean to children, he want to specifically marry Katrina only for her wealth, and steals his student's food constantly. I sympathized with him initially because he was the main character, but he sort of has it coming. Him and Brom are both kind of in the wrong here, but Ichabod's not just some innocent. It sort of makes this story kind of a precursor to slasher films, which is not something I thought I would ever say.
Too Many Cooks
Year: 2014
Synopsis: The plot isn't about the short, it's about you. You either watch this live in the middle of an infomercial block, unadvertised in the middle of the night, or you watch a repost of it the day after. You begin to watch what looks to be a sitcom, but it keeps going. and going. Suddenly, it becomes a cartoon. And a legal drama. Someone not in the show begins killing the cast mid-intro. But the intro just keeps going, and going, and going.
EMN Notes: It takes a lot to make a stew. A pinch of salt and laughter too. A scoop of kids to add the spice. A dash of love to make it nice. And you've got...